Imagination

Sebastian's imagination has leapt lately. He went from mimicking to roaming through a whole private world in what seemed a matter of days. He tells stories. One night over dinner he told us that I didn't give birth to him but that he came from goats. He's friends with the sky, water and mountains and also fireworks (of course). He's apparently going backpacking with his friends, first outside then upstairs. 

He seems to have a reoccurring dream about "cars in the balls!" and he talks a lot to his baby dolls and stuffed animals and sometimes they seem to talk back.

Around the time this started happened, he also became more aware of something almost etherial. He mentioned people around us matter-of-factly when we were alone. Like, "Someones in the kitchen, Mama" and "Who's behind us?" when we're walking alone up the stairs from the beach, or "There's a guy in the bathroom waiting." One day a guy with face tattoos came in and played Duplo with him. Other times our neighbour, kind of  strange and visually compelling man, is apparently in the house and Sebastian has nicknamed him "wormy guy" (just waiting for that one to slip out face-to-face).  

I never assumed he was using his imagination. When he uses his imagination you can see his mind working, he's transparent or overly focused on being casual. When he mentions these people he's stating fact. It's been a bit chilling at times. I've caught myself investigating rooms to make sure no one has broken into our house. I've asked him for details. 

But I guess it doesn't surprise me. I'm sensitive to spirits, too and so is Alex. When Sebastian was born the apartment felt crammed with spirits to the point where I would have constant nagging dreams about them, only to wake and find myself still with them. They were there for Sebastian, curious and sometimes overbearing. When I asked them to leave they left. 

It doesn't surprise me because I know a lot of kids are like this. A few of my friends have chilling stories from when their kids were Sebastian's age. I talk about it with people, but the more he overhears the more he's aware of it, and I think that dilutes it. 

I've been having a lot of dreams lately. Strange, half-significant dreams, one after the other after the other after the other. There are themes running through them, too. The other night I had two dreams about holes, like in one I expected to stand in essentially a grave filled with straw while a horse towered over me, and in another I was crawling out of a hole in a hatch in the ground and I was covered in white sugar. Strange. I just packed all my books in a box and taped it up, otherwise I would dig out my dream decoder. I'm sure Freud would have something to say about it.
These last couple days we've been having people in and out of our apartment as we try to rent it. This weekend we're having a kind of open-house garage sale on Sunday so there will be even more people coming in and out, browsing through our stuff. It feels kind of gross. Strangers opening your closets, twisting your shower knobs, peering out your windows. So far no one has jumped at the chance to take the place which makes it worse. One woman refused to take her boots off so stood in our hallway on two sheets of paper dripping icy dirt and I wanted to be like, "Get the hell out of our house!"
Anyhow, I suppose the end is near.
Sebastian has been having a hard time sleeping these days. He wakes up a lot. There was a time when once he was down, he was down and would often sleep for ten straight hours. But now he wakes up at all hours, whining and yelling in his sleep, eyes closed. What wakes him up? How can I teach him to help himself? He is going through a lot of changes right now and because of that I am infinitely patient most of the time. Watching him struggle to worm around the tiles, learning to crawl, knowing his teeth are coming in, seeing how his mind is far surpassing his physical abilities these days is hard. I watch him watching older babies, toddlers, kids and know he understands something his body doesn't yet. No wonder he can't sleep properly! But at the same time, isn't he exhausted?!
There are also a lot of changes in our life, such as all these people coming in and out at his bedtime, nap time. Such as the last couple months, so much travel, so much socializing. I really feel like hibernating for a while, if not for my sake for his. It will be a couple more months until we can settle in somewhere, have a quiet bedtime, have quiet days, have a more baby-centered existence which I think he would benefit from. By then he will be so old! Sometimes I wonder about the habits he will develop in the meantime. I want him to have a positive relationship to sleep, to be relaxed and rested when he wakes up, to feel safe, such as when he is tired he has the opportunity to crash without people keeping him awake, at least until he learns what restful sleep is again.