Our handmade Christmas tree

Sebastian and the Christmas Roman

Gettin in the spirit if things

I guess it's inevitable that the older you get the more people you know die. There's something about December and the holidays that seem to be an extra common time of year to lose someone. I'm not sure why that is, but it's true. It's been a year since Rio's suicide, a day I don't think I could ever forget. I also found out the other day that a friend of mine from Victoria just died of cancer. It's strange to suddenly have this time of year laced with something other than light-hearted anticipation and time with family. I'm sure there will be more December deaths over the years. There's something  about having a friend's suicide on the mind at this time of year that especially cheapens the aspects of Christmas I already dislike. But death is the most inevitable part of life. I want to a way over time to celebrate a more honest holiday that can incorporate the realistic parts of our lives without it feeling completely bizarre.

us, last fish tacos of the season

and the rain begins...

in the yard

cooking is the new `gardening`

always with the cheesy santa nightlight... 

Our Holiday Pop-up Shop

Oh, December. There's something kind of twisted about December being a much needed break for me this year because it's generally a pretty busy, demanding month, no? But it is; at least, one of these days it will be. I'm done with trips to the city and class until January, and am preparing to just relax for a week or two before doing some stock writing, starting two freelance editing jobs, finishing off Christmas preparations, etc.etc.etc. Sebastian and I had the flu this week and are still recuperating in this very cluttered and messy house. It's taking all the strength to not rampage around the house right now, but instead sit down with a good book and knitting projects for our Pop-up Shop, which opened at the Shed yesterday. It's running for eight days total, this weekend and next weekend, and is brimming with precious found and crafted local items we've collected from the community. This is something I wanted to take part in in Montreal but never got my act together. Tomorrow I'll kick off my true vacation with an americano, knitting in hand, laid back in this adorable little Christmas shack on the water. I will try to post some more photos in the weeks to come.
I've found myself more generous towards Christmas this year. I hung lights outside. I've put together plans for a wooden Christmas tree for Alex to make. I'm not entirely disgusted; I'm a little excited. Don't get me wrong, I do love opening gifts (I just hate having to deal with them afterwards) and I love getting together with family, and having any excuse for a big meal.  
But I have beef on both a personal level and a social level. On one hand, I'm not a Christian, and I'm minimalistic. So on both accounts Christmas is a bit of an affront. I have to politely overlook worshipping something I don't believe in, and I have to be bombarded with things which, for the most part, I don't want.
I've learned to smile and say thank you and not feel guilty about promptly thrifting gifts that don't have meanings or uses. Everyone has excessive gift-givers in their lives. My theory is that they give gifts because it's how they show their love, and it makes them feel good. I think in a roundabout way it's a bit selfish to give people things they don't need or really want. I find it overwhelming and a bit of an anti-present. I spend days and days reorganizing and decluttering after a bit gift-giving event. It's wasteful.
My biggest issue though is this: every time we get new items as presents, it's something else that's eventually going to end up in the landfill, and if it's not a natural material, it's going to be there for a long, long time. I find this particularly ironic and frustrating with gifts for kids. It's a gift for about a day, or a month, or maybe a year at best. After that, it's one of the biggest anti-gifts you could give the next generation, and future generations. It's more shit for them to deal with later. It's more decay, more waste, more pollution, more reliance on and support for foreign industry that produces nothing but more shit, more trouble. It's further contributing to creating a society that places highest value in material possessions. It's overlooking beautiful things that already exist and need to be reused, recycled, whatever. It's contributing to a disposable idealism. Yah, it probably sounds smug or over-the-top to some. But I really do think it's true, and I think if we really love the people we're giving gifts to we will consider a more holistic approach to gift-giving, not just appealing to the consumer side of each of us.
There's a theory about the Seventh Generation that I try to think about every time I make a purchase. Admittedly, I've gotten totally sucked into thinking about stuff especially for Sebastian. I find myself buying him things he doesn't need, or accepting new things instead of second-hand. We could definitely be doing better with consumption, and it's something I definitely take seriously. At this time of year especially I have to pause and ask, Is it actually a good gift? Is it going to be something positive for the receiver's future, and, ideally, their kids and theirs? Or is it something designed to make someone feel good for a tiny amount of time?